I haven't been on here in awhile. Since August as a matter....

I've been a lot of busy lately. For one, moved from where I used to live
because of the landlord crap I believe I mentioned in past. And to
travel. Well, came back to the midwest for a little bit. Would appear
there is a reason for almost anything.

Aside from getting together with an amazing friend, and man...I fell
for the first time. Things are different now...but we will deal. Been
working with musicians, and a dream becoming reality.

"Hope sees the invisible...achieves the impossible. When
you look up...there are no limits!"


~Andrea of Lacuna Coil: Karma Code

Still pretty much traveling. Staying with friends in St. Charles right now.
Well, whatever happens. But soon will be in own place. Far different from
what I had before. Which this is better. Change is good, especially
when it helps us to evolve to better things...and without throwing away
and pushing aside those we love and hold close.

Nothing is as bad as it appears and is sometimes presented to us.
We are programmed throughout life, time and again to believe there is nothing
more to life than this. That is one of many lies we are told. Inadvertently, our
parents teach us this. Life is almost relative to the movie "The Truman Show".
Different for each individual. but in close relation nonetheless. You and I are
not as different as one may like to believe! We just have to make a stand
and help aid in opening one another's minds.

Don't simply look with your physical eyes. The mind's eye is what we focus on.
To AWAKEN what is inside. The answers lie within. Ashame it has taken us this
long to actually come to grips with that....after our focus was external for so long.

Will TRY to keep you all in touch and updated. I miss you Markella!

Do you believe in vampires? I do. They are all around us.
Look around you! You hear from and of them indirectly
everyday! Sometimes, directly. But that is only because
of the effects it all has on us.

They're parasitic assholes. Who are only making things worse,
for the whole of the world. They have more power than they
really need. Shit. The way they've been handling things lately,
they don't need shit. They should be stripped of such power. I
mean damn! Power corrupts anyhow, right?!

I'm sick of watching our country crumble...the world crumble.
And hear people actually deny what is right in front of their face.
As we slowly watch and see ALL rights stripped away from the
people, and damn, Human rights as well.

They see it! And deny it. COME ON NOW, PEOPLE! TO DENY, IS TO
LIE. AND THE WORSE LIE, IS TO LIE TO ONES OWNSELF.

Yes.  Red is in the house!
Kinda bright don't ya think?

I can remedy that.  Just dropping in
to say,  I think I shall start fresh with this thing.
And to fill you in brief, as to what is going
on in theland of......whatever this is.  Like
to call it STL Misery.

Anywho.  There is a protest going on just down
the street from me.  Actually, less than a half a block away!
The protest is most of our city, against it's Mayor.  She
was just voted in April 4th, 2006.  And now, she has
been investigated on some of her claims, and whether or
not she has been going about things legally!

Ann Purzner,  demanded that our Police Chief be removed
by force, if he didn't leave his position willingly.  Where she then
changed all the Police Dept. locks,  so he could not get back in
the station!  Well, she also informed him that,  IF he were to
come anywhere on or in the premisis,  he would be arrested
on sight. Funny thing is,  the entire Dept. and their officers,
DO NOT SUPPORT her.

Yesterday,  State Prosecutors sought her out, to present her
with papers, because they are going to sue her.  They
chased this woman down, and had to find where she lived, because
for 1,  she hadn't been at her job for 3 days!  And to serve
her with papers.  She was found at her home,  exiting her car,
and ran to her garage yelling, "NO COMMENT, NO COMMENT!"
And then shut the garage door.

What an idiot!  Well, her claims of being an RN for X amount
of years, was found to be false.  And the way she had fired our Chief
of Police,  was found to be conducted illegally.  OH WELL!  Now
she faces charges, and a lawsuit by the state.

Looks like the protestors of our city,  had paid off.  I was a part of
it the first day, Wednesday.  And on KSDK Channle 5 News at 6:00p.m./c.
However,  luckily we have the choice!  Didn't have to go the next day,
because I had a gang of things to finish.  Anywho,  on Wednesday,
while standing in front of the City Hall,  signs in hand,  a tree from
across the street,  seemed to miraculously give birth to what could be
described as the Paparazzi!  Immediately snapping pictures of us all!

Getting things ready for today,  Cinco DeMayo.  We are having a one
of our infamous BARBECUES!  The first BBQ of the year.  We would
NOT be the 9107 Krew,  if we didn't have one of those.  However,  I
will NOT be living here long.  I have until September this year,  to
relocate.  So that should be loads of ass!

On the lighter side of things,  I have finished that picture I spoke about.
"The Twin Flames".  I gave up on the male part of the picture.  Leaving
him as he is.  The flames around......*clears throat*  a certain area
unmentionable,  was giving me probs.  I felt bad for the guy!  For that
region just didn't look too comfortable, with the way the flames would
travel across that.....*clears throat* region.

IF ANYONE CELEBRATED THIS DAY,  HAVE A GREAT CINCO DEMAYO!!

Apologies indeed!

How are all of you?
My Bravenet friends....and those I do NOT want to lose contact with?

A lot has been going on recently.
Within a 2 weeks time, my family has went through 2 deaths.
Not counting those we've lost in Sicily/Italy.
Problems left and right. All will be overcome, I am sure.
I will be most likely be moving soon. When...I just know it has to be within
this month.

My friend Kali and I, have been trying to get a loan approval, while we look
for a house to share. Seeing as how that may be easier, and cheaper for the most
part. I value my privacy...but in this case, one must make a sacrifice. If even
to get things straight.

The houses around here are expensive! Looks like we can at least try for
a 10 year mortgage, on a $80-$90,000 home. That is an ass to find I tell you.

My SLUMLORD is an ass. I will soon know what the verdict is. Whether or not he won, or I won.
Hope walks with me on that, and most other cases. At least the PTB, or whoever in the cosmos, is giving me a swift kick in the ass to get me started. I hate to procrastinate.

The new path is fast approaching. What will it entail?

Because someone was posting a gang of spam, and nothing more than some ads etc. I had to change the settings, and have comment posting limited to only those who are also bravenet members. This is for both of our benefit. Because I would not want to risk either of us getting that awful spyware/adware crap. And this is what is believed to of been going on recently on here.

Sorry for any inconvenience.

For I am bored, cannot sleep, and wish to know these things.

I have chosen the Dark Side. For there are NO gray areas there.

Sorry I haven't been on here in awhile. I have been busy as all hell!

See that 'someone' has been spamming on here. But that's ok. Hope he/she has some fun. If that is what they like to do.

I hope everyone's Christmas went well! And I wish all of you the safest and Greates New Year '06!

LOVE YA ALL!

Read this article:
China City Waits For Toxic Deluge

This is just recently too! Today they will face a horrible disaster. And how far will things like this go?!
Benzene is a highly poisonous toxin that is also carcinogenic. And Russian towns anticipate they will be affected by it as well! That is pretty damn close.

After reading this article, brings to mind how many more "accidents" will ocurr over the rest of this year, into the next. I am inclined to believe that these so called "accidents" are more like incompetent and irresponsible acts. People are getting more and more careless as the years have gone by.

And once again, another mass of people in this world will be needing all the help they most likely will not get enough of, let alone any at all. The article reads how they will receive water, but it doesn't even meet up with the amount of people residing within there!

Not to mention how these residents have been lead astray. And they do not even trust what their government has to say. This is sad. The government (in whatever country) seems to always either keep the truth from the civilians of their countries, or if at all they do disclose any information....it is either very little info given, or the people only hear what they are told. They candy coat the truth, to appease it's people. What is our world coming too!

Here in America, we haven't heard much anymore on how well things are getting cleaned up down in LA New Orleans. Remember....it was said how there was numerous diseases, and illnesses caused by various toxins and bacteria which layed stagnant in the nasty waters they withdrew and spilled into a lake.

And slowly gas prices are decreasing, while food prices continue to sky rocket, and jobs are slim and next to nill. Nill whether you find one or not, and if lucky—to get enough hours in to make ends meat.

I hope this area of the world gets the help they need. They may not even be able to shower. But they say they will at least be able to cook. But what about their food supplies. Like the animals! Do they not drink from any of these water supplied areas? And wouldn't that affect their livestock, if any?

Lately, I have been getting discouraged. Hearing some things, and then as a woman does best, putting it all together into something bigger than it is. It is in this discouragement, that I have realized I am alone. But then that also changed. I feel alone because I miss someone so damn much, that it feels it is killing me literally inside. Ripping me apart!

A really good friend told me that I really have nothing to worry about. To me, his views and opinions matter. Which is why I trust what he had to tell me. And he is right! I think that is why I have grown to care for this person to a level of trust. He is someone I can trust, and look to when I need someone to talk to. Do not get me wrong, I have a lot of friends I care for and trust. However, there is only one man that I love a lot, and he is my best friend.

These are two seperate people I speak of. The friend I speak of really knows what he is talking about. I know that if he ever needed someone to talk to, whenever. I would be there for him as well. And last night, he made me think. Which is why I realized I am looking at my problem in only one way at present. And I understand. I thank him for being there, and for his insight.

I also know that I am afraid too. Afraid of being alone, and although I know I will not be alone, I also have a fear of losing those I love. Who wouldn't? And I would do whatever I could in my power to make sure that never happened.

The man I am in love with is away right now. I am not sure what day he will be back. I do know that he is not alone. He has my heart. He has nothing to worry about either. Because I have always been here. And with him is where I want to be. If I could, I would snatch him back from where he is now, to where I am. Then again, if I could do that, I would just stay where he is now, so he can be where he will fulfill his dream, and live them. I want to share that with him.

DAMN IT I WANT TO SCREAM IT OUT LOUD! FROM THE TOP OF THE SEARS TOWER! Well, maybe a skyscraper that isn't that tall. Because if I could, I would want the entire world to know!

We have been having a lot of blasts lately.

Last Friday, we had a HUGE BBQ shindig. And among so many other kewly nights, tonight, we went bowling. It was really fun. Wish others that were not there, were. But there is nothing we can actually do about this.

For those who do not know, I am waiting for an important email from someone I met on net, who goes by "The Founder". This is all I can say there for now.

Tonight (Wednesday), we are supposed to go to The Vault to hang and have fun and all.Corey will be here with Jon, since of course, Jon cannot go with all the lights.

Just so he knows, he WAS invited to the Tuesday night bowling thing. And he wants to go sometime this weekend. The Casino boat thing has been moved to next Tuedsay. So, Jon is also invited to that.

We are all dressing crazy for Wednesday. I am going in my usual comfortable style of Goth. No one has really seen me in what I have always been comfy in. So I will placate them with the REAL me.

Will let you all know how this all goes.

I love you all!