Lately, I have been getting discouraged. Hearing some things, and then as a woman does best, putting it all together into something bigger than it is. It is in this discouragement, that I have realized I am alone. But then that also changed. I feel alone because I miss someone so damn much, that it feels it is killing me literally inside. Ripping me apart!

A really good friend told me that I really have nothing to worry about. To me, his views and opinions matter. Which is why I trust what he had to tell me. And he is right! I think that is why I have grown to care for this person to a level of trust. He is someone I can trust, and look to when I need someone to talk to. Do not get me wrong, I have a lot of friends I care for and trust. However, there is only one man that I love a lot, and he is my best friend.

These are two seperate people I speak of. The friend I speak of really knows what he is talking about. I know that if he ever needed someone to talk to, whenever. I would be there for him as well. And last night, he made me think. Which is why I realized I am looking at my problem in only one way at present. And I understand. I thank him for being there, and for his insight.

I also know that I am afraid too. Afraid of being alone, and although I know I will not be alone, I also have a fear of losing those I love. Who wouldn't? And I would do whatever I could in my power to make sure that never happened.

The man I am in love with is away right now. I am not sure what day he will be back. I do know that he is not alone. He has my heart. He has nothing to worry about either. Because I have always been here. And with him is where I want to be. If I could, I would snatch him back from where he is now, to where I am. Then again, if I could do that, I would just stay where he is now, so he can be where he will fulfill his dream, and live them. I want to share that with him.

DAMN IT I WANT TO SCREAM IT OUT LOUD! FROM THE TOP OF THE SEARS TOWER! Well, maybe a skyscraper that isn't that tall. Because if I could, I would want the entire world to know!

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